DIVORCING PARENTS BEWARE:
Here are ways to avoid ruining the holidays for your
Tips This Holiday Season
For Parents And Grandparents
If you are contemplating a divorce or going through a
divorce this holiday season, it is crucial that you don’t
make your children suffer during the holidays... or for any
other time for that matter. With some effort on the part of
both parents, your children’s holiday won’t be a time they
remember as adults as the saddest time of the year.
Brian James, president of C.E.L. & Associates, a certified
mediator who specializes in pre and post divorce issues
points out: “Save any divorce talk with your children until
after the holidays. There is no need for them to associate
the holidays with your divorce.”
To help divorcing parents get through the holiday season,
here are some tips from Mr. James that you and your spouse
should consider following:
! Don’t give your children too many gifts as a way to
“make up” for the fact you are divorcing. Down the road, it
will come back to haunt you.
! Do talk with your soon to be ex about what gifts
each of you are getting for your children. They don’t need
two scooters or two of the same doll.
! If at all possible, try to spend the holidays
together as a family. However, if you and your spouse are
going to fight in front of the children, celebrate the
! If your children already know you are divorcing, be
careful that your children don’t believe that seeing you
together is a holiday present, and that you are getting back
Parents that are living separately need to start a new
holiday tradition with their children. Allow your children
to provide input as to how they want to spend the time.
! Don’t make your child feel guilty if he or she
wants to spend the holiday with your soon to be ex.
Remember, there will be many more holidays where you can be
“For grandparents who feel they are getting the short end of
the stick this holiday season, here are a few holiday tips
for you,” says James.
! If no time is available to celebrate the holidays
with your grandchildren because they are spending time
separately with each of their parents, start a new
tradition. Have a discussion with your child about
celebrating with your grandchildren right after the first of
!Remember, the best interests of your child and
grandchildren need to be at the top of your holiday wish
list. This is not a snub. Don’t take it personality. There
will be other holidays where you can spend time with your
! Support your child during this very emotional time
in his or her life. Sadly, going through a divorce was never
on their mind when he or she got married.
For other holiday issues you may
want to discuss, you may contact Mr. James at GOTOBUTTON
BM_1_ www.celandassociates.com or call (312) 524-5829. He
has offices conveniently located throughout the Chicagoland
area and Southeastern Wisconsin and is also available for
consultations by phone.