Teacher Conferences Important to Divorced or Divorcing
Parents
In many
parts of the country, the school year is ending in less than
three months. What do you know about how well your child or
children did in school this year? Will your offspring need
to attend summer school, have a tutor or be ready to
“graduate” to the next grade without any problems? Only your
child’s teacher has the answer.
When parents
are going through a divorce or are divorced, usually one of
them has little knowledge about what is happening in their
child’s classroom. Of course, most parents know that
parent/teacher conferences are a great way for them to learn
about their child’s daily activities in school, whether the
child is doing well or if their child needs help at home.
Yet, many parents don’t communicate with the teacher during
this trying time in their lives, or just turn over this
responsibility to the other parent.
However, if
you are divorcing or divorced from your spouse abdicating
educational responsibilities is not in the best interest of
your child. So---what can you do to avoid conflict with your
spouse, yet remain actively involved in your child’s
education?
Brian James,
president of C.E.L. & Associates, an Illinois-based
certified mediator specializes in pre and post divorce
issues has some advice for parents that can be beneficial to
their child.
Make sure
your child’s teacher is the first one informed that there is
a pending divorce or if a divorce has just occurred. “Your
child spends more time in school than anywhere else, and
this situation might have a negative affect on your child,”
he says. “At this time of year, most scheduled school
conferences have past. However, all teachers are willing to
have a conference with a parent at the parent’s request.
Find out what is happening with your child.”
If the
parents are cordial to each other, they can attend the
parent/teacher conference together. That way, both parents
have the same information and can ask the same questions
regarding their child’s education. If only one parent
attends, the other one is left in the dark. Unfortunately,
in most divorce situations, this is exactly what happens.
More often than
not, sitting together with a teacher is virtually impossible
due to the antagonistic and negative vibes radiating from
each parent. This makes the teacher uncomfortable-and in
this hostile atmosphere-you may not receive all the
information you need to know about your child’s academic
achievements or non-achievements.
Therefore,
James as some advice on how divorcing or divorced parents
should handle teacher/parent conferences.
!
Ask the teacher to notify both parents what days and times
are available for in-person or phone conferences.
!
When necessary, schedule individual in-person or phone
conference time with the teacher. This will alleviate
divorced parents from having to be together, but at the same
time, allow them equal time with the teacher. This results
in each parent learning the same information about their
child.
! If
only one parent is meeting the teacher in person or having a
telephone conference, take notes. Even if you and your ex
aren’t on speaking terms, sending him or her notes about the
conference is in the best interest of your child. Both of
you need to have the same philosophy and goals regarding
your child’s education.
“No matter
how much you and your ex dislike each other and want nothing
to do with one another, you still have a child you need to
parent together,” he says. “School is where children learn.
If the two of you aren’t on the same page regarding the
child’s current education, then you are both unnecessarily
harming your child’s future education and well being.”
For more
information, phone Brian James at (312) 524-5829 or visit GOTOBUTTON
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www.celandassociates.com
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